Difficulty with anxiety and self-worth can take many shapes and surface in a variety of ways. I often work with people who experience anxiety around their sense of being “good enough”, those who have high expectations of themself and a strong, seemingly ever present inner critic. Struggling in your relationship with yourself can be really difficult. Peace, acceptance, joy, and play can feel out of reach when we’re stuck in the patterns of proving, preventing, and judging that often come with anxiety about our worth.

From the outside, society might label you as “high-achieving.” You might be doin’ your thing - showing up at work, school, in your relationships, but internally you experience self-doubt and enduring critical self-talk. Mistakes that might trip others up for a moment might throw you off for hours, days, or weeks. You might struggle to take up space and really put yourself out there for fear of what others might think or your own thoughts of not being good enough. There is a part of you that is very critical of yourself. This part often has strong opinions about what you are doing and how you are doing it, as well as what you “should” feel and who you “should” be.

Perhaps you often felt like you were “too much” or were labeled as too emotional, sensitive, or anxious growing up. Sometimes, this experience can strengthen our inner critic as we try to maintain connections by being “good” amidst feeling or being viewed as different from those around us. These early experiences can impact how we show up in our adult relationships. You might experience difficulty setting boundaries, really opening up to people, differentiating from your loved ones, and letting the locus of control in determining whether you can feel solid about yourself lie within yourself rather than within others.